The title of this post can be found in the form of a laminated sign hanging above every water fountain at the Texas Tech rec center. Additionally, there are similar signs around the indoor track that read, "Do not spit on the track or the walls around the track." Obviously, somebody just got fed up with all our spittin' ways and decided to lodge a complaint.
There seems to be some unspoken rule about spitting that says, "If there's a drain, you gotta spit in it." A corollary to this rule states that it is also ok to spit in a public area so long as a drain is in the near vicinity. With a sewer system in every city, this results in a near ubiquitous spitting zone. These rules, or "laws" if I may be so bold, help to justify the aforementioned signage. A lack of appropriate drainage surrounding the indoor track calls for a sign prohibiting spitting (Do not spit), whereas spitting in the water fountains, albeit unsanitary, does abide by the universal law of spitting. Therefore, any sign which addresses water fountain spitting can only be worded as a "Thank you" to those who choose not to spit. Any prohibitory statement would be against the law and infringe upon our drain-spittin' rights.
As an act of protest against this egregious law, I propose an addendum that outlaws certain spitting practices:
1) It is unlawful to open your car door at a stop, lean over, and spit onto the street.
2) It is unlawful to hock a wad of phlegm into the urinal before or after you relieve yourself. (urinating in a public restroom is disgusting enough without your nasal passages reverberating throughout the facilities).
3) It is unlawful to discharge your dip spit into a transparent container. (I am not interested in seeing what could be described as dysenteric fluid flowing from your mouth).
Don't hesitate to write your congressman about this pressing issue. Or just spit in an envelope. Oftentimes, actions speak louder than words.
There seems to be some unspoken rule about spitting that says, "If there's a drain, you gotta spit in it." A corollary to this rule states that it is also ok to spit in a public area so long as a drain is in the near vicinity. With a sewer system in every city, this results in a near ubiquitous spitting zone. These rules, or "laws" if I may be so bold, help to justify the aforementioned signage. A lack of appropriate drainage surrounding the indoor track calls for a sign prohibiting spitting (Do not spit), whereas spitting in the water fountains, albeit unsanitary, does abide by the universal law of spitting. Therefore, any sign which addresses water fountain spitting can only be worded as a "Thank you" to those who choose not to spit. Any prohibitory statement would be against the law and infringe upon our drain-spittin' rights.
As an act of protest against this egregious law, I propose an addendum that outlaws certain spitting practices:
1) It is unlawful to open your car door at a stop, lean over, and spit onto the street.
2) It is unlawful to hock a wad of phlegm into the urinal before or after you relieve yourself. (urinating in a public restroom is disgusting enough without your nasal passages reverberating throughout the facilities).
3) It is unlawful to discharge your dip spit into a transparent container. (I am not interested in seeing what could be described as dysenteric fluid flowing from your mouth).
Don't hesitate to write your congressman about this pressing issue. Or just spit in an envelope. Oftentimes, actions speak louder than words.
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4 comments:
OK-
If you are going to bring a congressman into it, could I suggest...
#4 No president of the United States is allowed to spit in pubic.
This undignified act should never fall under the category of "executive privilege" even (especially) if your middle name is W.
the URL -
http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/
article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=36450
HAHA!!
I LOVE your blog! You remind me so much of KC's uncle Rod
I always hated when our crew would spit in Dr. Pepper cans.
Needless to say...you had to be VERY carefully to keep track of your own Dr. Pepper and NEVER NEVER put it down!! ;)
The spitting issue mysteriously disappears when you get far enough north.But I think we replace it with our enjoyment of all things related to sausage and alcohol hehe
HUGS!
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